We know a great deal about nurturing others, however, advancing our own needs may not be second nature.
 
It’s common for us as women to spend a larger percentage of our waking hours nurturing others than men do. Studies suggest women average more time tending house and loved ones. Odds are good that you provide the emotional glue that holds relationships and families together. You buy the birthday cards, pick up the phone to offer help or support when someone’s sick, and do much of the work or coordination of services involved in caring for elderly parents, children, grandchildren, and spouses in need of assistance. Our culture expects us to be self-sacrificing…leaving our own needs to take last place.
 
For men, our society places great emphasis on getting ahead. That can encourage a single-minded focus on career to the detriment of other activities. In this way, men are discouraged from indulging their nurturing side.

The pressure of a lengthy daily "to do" list can slowly zap away our energy. The thought of adding more items to the list may be more stressful then delightful, even if the addition is relaxation, creativity, or time with a loved one. Yet when you refresh yourself in ways that are meaningful to you, you add to your energy and joy.
 
Have you considered getting creative as a way to manage stress? Write a short story or a poem. Design a retreat with friends or plan a relaxing get away with that special someone. Pull out your paints and get lost in your imagination. Dance around the room. Cook up a feast.  Landscape a garden. It does not matter if these tasks are performed via a paid or volunteer job the point is that they offer pleasure and sometimes the chance to be creative.

The job many of us find hardest is setting aside time to pursue a defined leisure. Reading a novel, playing a game, soaking in a hot relaxing bath, or spending a half-hour meditating may seem like selfish activities.  Yet playfulness invites joy back into your life. And relaxation enhances "flow," a state described by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in which creative juices are freed and their full expression is directed to all pursuits.
 
So go ahead, carve out 20 minutes during your busy day for breath focus or progressive muscle relaxation. Soak in the sounds of music you find simply pleasurable. Taking time for yourself helps ward off exhaustion and burnout, allowing you to focus more attentively and less resentfully on the tasks of your day. Consider it a gift to yourself that also is a payout to others.

Have a blessed month and be well,